I'm going to have to say goodbye to an old
friend. Not forever. At least I hope it won't
Let me explain. A few monthes ago, we had a
VERY minor disagreement. That, in and of
itself, was not a big deal. What hurt was that
she was questioning my character. I don't know
if she realized then how much that hurt me. I
am a good, honest person, with the best of
intentions. You'd think that she would know
Still, I felt a sister-like love for this
friend. I figured, "let her think what she
wants about me. I'm sure she still cares about
me just as much."
But it wasn't easy. I felt queasy every time I
called her. It also seems that it was always me
that did the calling. And she was rarely home.
I knew that she was busy with work, and having
some family problems, so I tried to be
understanding. But, when I would try e-mailing
her, I seldom got a response. Thing is, I
noticed that, while she didn't have time to
answer my e-mails, she had plenty of time to
update her journal and post in forums.
Slowly, I came to the realization that maybe
she wasn't all that comfortable in the
friendship either. I don't know. Perhaps she
realized how much she had hurt me, but I doubt
it. I don't know what happened. To tell the
truth, I don't WANT to know. I don't want to
think about this or talk about this anymore.
I still love my friend. I love her so much that
it pains me to say this, but...I need a break.
I don't want to end the friendship, because I
truly believe that it is worth holding on to.
However, at this time, there is just too much
pain involved. For both of us, I think.
Dear friend, if you are reading this, please
don't be angry at me for posting this in my
journal. I doubt that anyone knows who I am
talking about. I only posted it here because I
never know if you even read my e-mails anymore.
Rest assured that I don't hate you. But there
is a lot of hurt between us, and we need time
Please don't try contacting me about this. I'd
like it if our break could start now. I will
not go dragging your name through the mud. And
I certainly won't tell any of our mutual
friends to stop talking
to you. Remember, I love you. I always will.
One day, I hope that we will come together